Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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