he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
