one might say we're banned from that church
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
