brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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