sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
