oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
