I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize