I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
there is puke in my bra ... again
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
