What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
