he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize