were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
