She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
