I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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