I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well you can't waste a boner
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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