I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
