Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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