i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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