So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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