Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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