Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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