do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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