please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
