yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
