I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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