note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
