it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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