I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
