i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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