FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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