I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
