Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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