hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
