OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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