i permit you to call me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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