Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
