turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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