I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
