So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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