Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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