I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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