He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
