similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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