I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We need to get me chipped asap
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize