guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Need sex. Gaining weight.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
