I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
