Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
