So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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