we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
