Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
