Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
