his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
