It's Friday. Sex?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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