i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
40s are totally the cure
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize