Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
