remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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